Self-Doubt : Kryptonite Or Teacher?
Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. —M. Scott Peck
-find it hard to put yourself out there (or sweat your socks off when you do)…
-don’t think you ever know enough (there is a good side to this belief but it’s usually over-shadowed) or are good enough…
-get stalled by your inner perfectionist…
-flip back into old dissonant habits whenever you try to make a shift…
-are too often surrounded by people that don’t serve your spirit and get busy with things that don’t align with your purpose…
-speak badly to your own self and judge your every move and action…
-often hold a slouched posture and find it hard to make comfortable eye contact…
-think all you’re missing is approval and encouragement to get going and that you are somehow entitled to it…
If you recognise some of you in there, then let me tell you something:
YOU ARE A DRIVING THROUGH LIFE WITH YOUR HAND-BREAK ON. AS IF IT WEREN’T ENOUGH, YOU’VE GOT AN EYE MASK ON TOO!
So what exactly is making us doubt ourselves? Why are we lacking in confidence so much?
the seed of all issues:
It’s usually to do with our parents/family, and for most people that is indeed the seed of all issues in life. Can you imagine: your first 7 years in your family are still dictating your life?
Right, so we know who’s “responsible” — now how do we get rid of it? Well, you don’t.
Why not? Because it’s the best teacher you’ll ever have. Your parents perhaps couldn’t teach that to you, so insecurity is here to do the job and guess what? It’s not going to give up on you because the Life loves you. That’s right, Life loves YOU.
Let us forget about reincarnation and multiple lives and assume that right now, all you know for 100% sure is that you are conscious of this one life happening right now (!!!) and — though it could be interesting — I don’t think you want to be 83 when you take your first real deep breath.
So, where do you start? Some people create affirmations that they read both out loud and mentally several times a day, create a mood board and force themselves to think positive thoughts hoping it will make a difference, but it rarely works.
HERE ARE MY 10 SUPERSONIC INSIGHTS ON INSECURITY
- Do not fear the darkness in you. Learn to accept your shadow self/imperfect self and make it your best friend, it will teach you far more than any guru! ==> (Gong baths, Becoming a Teacher, Journaling, Cold Water Immersion, Kundalini Yoga, Vipassana Silent Retreat, Fasting)
- Say goodbye to people who feel like poison to you. Surround yourself with a “top squad” that is so supportive that you have to pinch yourself every time you spend time with them, even if it’s a digital friendship (and so will they!).
- Do not compare with or judge people. Those who judge themselves (99.99% of the population) judge others. If you do, you can expect others to be judging you too (that’s a universal law). For the hippies out there, we are ONE! Think about it, you stopping the judgment game means more peace and love for you and for your neighbour: it’s a win-win situation!
- Failure only becomes so when we refuse to accept the gift it is bearing: feedback. Be grateful for the tips and lessons given to you so you can shine when you re-iterate next time.
- Be aware of where you come from and use that to your advantage. Be grateful for the whole package and don’t make excuses — there are plenty of unthinkable miracles out there.
- Self-criticism doesn’t work for one reason: lack of perspective. If you want some feedback, go and ask the people who know you best and ask them what they think you’re awesome at, and what you’re terrible at (without censorship so keep your emotions at the door)!
- Seek resistance within yourself, for resistance is the precursor to growth (just look at nature as an ex.). What you resist the most is what ought to be on top of your list
- Do something that scares you at least once a week.
- Learn to say no. Love yourself enough to set boundaries with all people (family as well as strangers). You will be respected for knowing yourself and “putting your mask on first” and you will also do them a favour.
- Time is elastic, it is never too late to become what you wanted to be. Get started now and don’t forget to celebrate each small win (AND failure!). Life is fore mostly about the journey.
To conclude and send you on your way, let me ask you a question: what is it that makes you feel alive?
Is there a way for you to do that AND consequently help people (larger cause than yourself) at the same time?
No: Try again tomorrow, the answer might just be underneath your nose. Perhaps silence will bear the answer when you least expect it.
Yes: Go and do that. And help yourself to my top 10 list above!